Whatever happened to people writing those oh so romantical long-hand love letters? I mean, really? You know, the epic kind that mirror the likes that Shakespeare would be proud of. The kind that can inspire a great aria. The kind that can melt even the most glacial of hearts. Can it exist? In our era of instant gratification, has the long-hand love letter fallen victim to extinction via the Sext?
It’s the saddest thing really when romance dies.
I propose a triple “L” R… The Long-hand Love Letter Revolution. le sigh. That instead of sext-ing, texting, facebook-ing, tweeting… even emailing for that matter surprise someone you love with a triple L.R. who knows maybe it will spawn a romantical revolution of epic proportions. Maybe.
I wonder if it’d ever catch on, cause I mean really, maybe it’s just a pipe dream where rainbows and unicorns live in a fantasia of technicolor. I wonder… I wonder whether the world is even equipped for this kind of revolution… maybe it’s just far too romantical for the time being.
This year has definitely brought about a plethora of life lesson. I think I’ve really tried to opened myself up to letting someone in [One someone in particular: refer to my first entry]. Anyways, leaps of faith, at least I would think so, have been made, however I continue to find myself at the crossroad of whether to compromise my ideals for an awakening so to speak for the “right” guy.
Yes, as previously blogged, I’m a virgin [whether people believe it or not] I sometimes think I should just get it over with but call me idealistic, I WANT to fall into an epic kind of Love and even more so, stay in Love.
Apparently, being a person in my current state, tends to illicit views and stereotypes purely of a sexual nature. Which is incredibly unfair. That is NOT who I am, that is NOT how I want to be portrayed or perceived.
There are clear days when I personally feel like all that I will ever be to a person is an object… the world is so finite to display me like a porcelain doll. Granted there have been instances where I’ve wanted to be purely ravaged by primal animalistic passions, but I find myself so guarded and awkward in most instances that I revert to a place of what can only be described as childlike naivety.
I’ve ventured to take the unconventional world wide web to find that person [which surprisingly now seem to be the norm in most circles]. In the process I’ve conversed a few notables: a gorgeous energy trading Spaniard with 2 alleged kids & a penis complex, handsome 2 drunk 2 drive corporate consultant ken doll type, a pocket size Columbian student reminds me of a friend, a numerous about of barkers not worth mentioning, the dream look-a-like master chief firefighter, a plethora of some of the hottest guys I’ve ever laid eyes on but are NSA-FWB only, and the list could go on. I feel like I’m missing out on something. I feel like what seems to be holding me back is this pining for that one guy who has ruined all others even though we haven’t even officially met yet.
. Clearly I’m smitten on one guy in particular[see my first entry], and he just confuses the hell out of me. He’s this giant question mark, clusterfluffing my mind. So I text him every so often hoping he’s well… and nothing for weeks/months on end, and then all of a sudden some of the most caring text messages. I don’t get it. Then I was sent a picture, and usually when a guy sends you a picture because he thought you would “like” it… I mean what is that?
I think I’m over getting all clusterfluffed. So thats what’s up. Waiting for THE ONE, you know, just in case he should actually exist; for me that is. le sigh.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Ronnie,
You will know when the time is right. Don’t waste time with game players. The person that is your guy, well, he won’t pass up the chance. He’ll take the first chance to do it right the first time.
The cluster feeling is that you know that this other guy isn’t for you, but you wish he was. The only questions are how long you will let it go on, and how far you will go until you realize it.
All the best
Love
Jim
Thanks Jim for reading the entry and your words of wisdom. Just to clarify this particular entry was written by me, not Ronnie. Although the overall message is one that can be taken to heart by all.
London,
A few years ago I was at friend’s birthday party and as the night wore on, the conversation turned to all of the party participant’s first time. I was struck by the revelation that I was the only one at the party of 14 gay men that was not only in love with the person that I first had sex with, but was also the only one to have a continuing sexual relationship with my first. We were together for three years and I’d hoped at the time that we would be together for the rest of our lives. Waiting to be in love created problems for me in only one way – I don’t trick. Once you’ve had really great sex with someone that you also love and see that love reflected back makes tricking feel like a cheap dime store phony. Good sex is communication as well as physical stimulation and rarely do you find communicating with strangers easy on the first go around. Too many in the gay community fall prey to hot but meaningless sex, and I think that its why I believe there is such substance abuse and dysfunction in the community. Love your life, love yourself, and deeply love the souls that you share your body and heart with. You are worthy of being treasured, you are worthy of finding one to treasure. Its not about finding the “perfect” one, but someone that you at least want to spend time with, have things in common with and trust. I hope you have a heartfelt moment with someone that inspires you to have more such moments, connected sex will blow not only your load, but your mind and heart as well. Too many gay men miss out on this.
Don’t be one of them.
Best of luck in 2012,
jet
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